what a girl wants

The heirloom garden catalogs have arrived, our Christmas tree was dry and has been taken down (way too early, so it was replaced with a white lights tree to take me through winter), I’m ready to part with the sweets and treats that were staple foods while I was in my “holiday hole” and the holiday cards I did not yet send have become “winter wishes” cards. That means it’s time for a new year!

Happy New Year! Happy New Decade!

My favorite line, that I think is quite witty, is that “it will all be clear in 2020”.

Funny, right?

Ya know, ’cause perfect vision is 20/20. You see clearly with 20/20 vision…okay, you get it.

My body had put on the brakes and it slowed down completely right after Thanksgiving. It would not budge.

No matter that it was holiday time and with a late Thanksgiving, there were very few precious weeks to fit in my tasks. It wasn’t moving any faster.

I’ve been a busy bee for a while and I had told myself that after Thanksgiving, things would slow down and my body was holding me to it.

It’s what a girl wants.

It’s what a girl needs.

My theme this year for my holiday gifting was for my giftees to enjoy the moments before the holiday. The gifts that I had were meant to be delivered early in December. I think my body was wholeheartedly behind this theme because it was in slow motion! In order to deliver on my theme I needed to get my gifts packaged up and ready to go. It doesn’t really count that I had the shopping done early if I don’t deliver them on time.

Every year, I “do life” differently depending on the things that are happening and the holiday season is no different. This year, my brain is telling me that it is okay to frolic and work on holiday things slowly, while taking many breaks and if I need to scramble at the end, I’ll be rested so it’ll be no problem. I didn’t believe it but was curious to see how it worked out.

In the end, I managed just fine, although I did need to let some traditions slide because things became hectic and busy. I’ll work on them again now. Not everything has to happen before the holidays. I’ve learned to be flexible and I enjoy it much more!

It’s what a girl wants.

It’s what a girl needs.

I also wanted and needed a super large popcorn bowl for Christmas because I like to make popcorn on the stove but I always make an unplanned giant amount and then have to fill a variety of bowls. During one of my popcorn making moments I fantasized about a giant bowl. Santa came through.

Does anyone else save the extra butter and syrup packets from the McDonald’s pancakes? I can’t bring myself to waste them.

It’s what a girl wants.

It’s what a girl needs.

As a new year approaches, I like to select a guide word or phrase that keeps me on task for my future desires. This word or phrase usually arises out of how I lived the previous year and what I want for the upcoming year. Somewhere late last fall, as I received my new 2020 appointment calendar book (because I like “pen and paper” tools), I felt the need to write an intention on the front page of my new book to remind me of the state I was in at that moment.

“SLOW DOWN!”

I even directed it toward myself apparently, despite the fact that no one else uses my appointment book. I think I thought it added emphasis and maybe I would listen this time.

As that idea swirled around in my brain while heading into the holiday season and finishing a busy 2019, I was relieved to know that some slower moments were ahead of me. I’m not one to rest on my laurels for long, but I gave a command and by golly, I was going to put some effort into slowing down.

Ahhhhh….I could taste those moments that were just a short holiday season away from becoming reality when the new year began.

It’s what a girl wants.

It’s what a girl needs.

It didn’t last long.

The universe has other plans for me.

A new year is so exciting for the clean slate ahead and the many opportunities to work on dreams and goals. There will be adventures I hadn’t even planned on and challenges to overcome. But not everyone likes the unknown that is ahead of them and I get that. This year, I’m in that camp, and I’m going into the new year with a bit of fear.

I’m not sure why I think this coming year seems more fearful than the last two have been. Two years ago we decided it was time to move from our current home and bring our family to a country life style that we had been dreaming of, but we had no idea where we were headed. That was scary. And exciting.

Last year we had an opportunity to work toward another dream, a farmhouse property I had loved for years. The house was in a season of its life where it needed some serious considerings before we jumped into it. We considered, then we jumped, knowing it was where we needed to bring our family despite not knowing what we would do about it. That was scary. And exciting.

Recently, we learned that the house we are renting needs to go on a different journey, most likely without us because of timing, so we need to move out. Have you ever tried to find another rental in the rural countryside? They are not a plenty. After a brief panic, we realized that this was probably the push that we needed to get us to our dream property. But, not in a romantic way. Our current circumstances are probably as far away as you can get from suggesting that we get our farm property ready to move to. And add in that it really needs to happen by summertime.

THIS summertime.

That is scary. And exciting.

So…this year will see us continue our adventure in the normal not-normal way we do things. But…it should lead us home finally. We have been looking for “home” for a few years now and to think of the crazy roads that led us to this place, that I had not even imagined, is wonderfully comforting. Maybe, just maybe, we’ll pull this off.

My nature gets revved up when a challenge presents itself that seems impossible, so after a brief moment of panic, I was back in the game, ready to tackle another hurdle for our family. All of the house design planning I had been working on for our leisurely and well thought out move to the farmhouse property has now been tossed aside as a new set of challenges presents itself. It’s no longer just working around an old house that needs a new life and how I could combine the past with a workable present. The biggest issue is time. It has to happen fast. A very close second are the available resources to make this happen, which are temporarily not available. But these big constraints will force my hand to make decisions that may have taken me years to make and ultimately may not have been the best way to approach our new home.

In the meantime, as I mentioned above, the heirloom garden catalogs have been arriving. I have plenty of seeds from last year’s obsessive gardening plans so I do not need more seeds. I am also going to be sufficiently busy trying to get our farmhouse property livable so I do not need more seeds. I also said after last year’s gardening trials that I was not going to garden in a tilled plot again because the weeds were a nightmare all summer long. My garden boxes and mounds were completely free of weeds, naturally. I do not see in my future a healthy supply of garden boxes being built for me since my attentions need to be on other bigger more pressing matters, so I do not need more seeds. And I don’t want to battle that amount of weeds ever again.

It’s what a girl wants.

It’s what a girl needs.

I peeked at a garden catalog for fun one night while waiting for my wee ones to get settled into bed for good. It was meant to be some light reading to occupy me for a few moments without getting caught up in a book thus delaying my own bedtime.

Tantalizing.

My eyes wandered to page after page of new and interesting heirloom flowers and vegetables that would be so much fun to try out this year in my small conservatively no nonsense garden plans. I had no business looking so I put it away. The next day, with a clear head, I scolded myself for even considering thinking of buying more seeds.

But then a new catalog showed up from a company I hadn’t heard of before. So, I peeked again. My heart fluttered and my eyes wandered the pages. Again.